Alright, I got home around 1, and the front door, as well as the backdoor, was locked.
No chance in hell I would have called my parents to make them let me in. No chance. Ever. So I stayed outside, working on "picking" the lock.

Probably looked extremely shady from ... well anywhere. But yeah, it was cold and dark, then it started raining and then I got pissed off. I spendt well over an hour to get that fucking door open. The only upside was my cat, sleeping on top of his little tower, just on the other side. So cute, it made it almost ok.

Well, here I am, finally on the inside.
Now, let me tell you something.

Many people would probably say that it's stupid of me, not to call my parents. I was prepared to stay outside the rest of the night if I had to.

WARNING: THIS IS GONNA GET A BIT LONG AND SAD.

I'm gonna try to make this as short as possible.
I have really high demands towards myself since I have, throughout my entire childhood and up uintil now, felt like I have to be better and better and better, so that I can somewhat compete with my surroundings and be "good enough" for some recognizion. My brother has always gotten more attention than me (different reasons), and somehow, that has reflected in me as a result of his achievements.

I feel like I have to be extremely good, and achieve a lot of stuff to be something. If you took away all the things that I do, like drawing and writing, creating stuff and being book smart .... then I feel like I have nothing to show. I still do.

Anyways, all of this has somehow made me think, even if somewhat uncoisiously, that I can't make any mistakes. My every mistake will be highlighted, and that is not acceptable to me. It's not allowed to make mistakes, cause that would make me a bad person.
I couldn't forget my key and then wake up my parents.
That is not allowed.
That mistake is not ok.

I would stay outside in the freezing rain all night, rather than to listen to all the stuff that is wrong with me, another fucking time.
Also to sorta teach my parents a lesson. I have grown to believe that I can't come to them for help when I've done a mistake, in fear of them being total bitches. That's gonna get me in serious trouble some day.

So yeah, you've now heared a bit of my CRAZY adventure where I got locked out in the rain, then spendt over an hour breaking into my own house, and also why I would rather do that than to ask my parents for help when I made a mistake.

Lovely!
Goodnight now...