I should have gone to bed hours ago. I think I've gone to bed after 4 AM for about 10 days now .... and even I am starting to think that this is getting to the point of extreme stupidity...
I know I said that I wanted to do a video tomorrow, but I don't think I'll have much more time than to do a vlog or something. I have been considering doing vlogs with my phone tho ... real vloggy style sorta.

But yeah, I have to go to the shrink as well tomorrow.
Final session.
Wow that feels weird.

I started with stuff like that in 8th grade, when my teacher made me go to the school nurse since I seemed so down and alone. And I did, and I had many talks with her, and finally she made me an appointment with the local "young people health clinic" sorta. Don't actally know what it's called in english, but yeah.

Then I had a bunch of sessions with the shrink there, and then she reccomended me to the more permanent arrangement with the clinic of mental health. Once again, not sure if that's what it's called, but it's like the clinic for phycological heath that is managed by the goverment.
Anyways, I had to go through my doctor to get there, and she turned me down. After about a year with talking to my teacher, the school nurse, a shrink and (for some reason I can't quite remember) the insector at my school.... the doctor spoke to me for two seperate sessions, and said that it was only a hormonal thing.
Damn, was I pissed....

Anyways, some time passed and I got even more lost. Finally, I got a text from the school nurse. She wanted to talk to me again, and when she found out that i hadn't actually gotten any help, she signed me up for the emergancy department at the phycology clinic.
At first, there was this emergany team of two shrinks that spoke to me at a ... I think weekly basis. Then I got switched to another department, and given a more permanent shrink.
I had him for about a year, and I don't think he actually believed that it was anything wrong with me. He probably thought I was just an attention sick little teen, filled with hormones that made me a bit more sensitve than usual....

After that year, he switched job location (hahhahehahehaha) and I got ONCE FUCKING AGAIN a new person to talk to. And ... well, thanks to many different factors, that was the beginning of a very changing year.
I was starting a new school, with new people and new classes. I lost most of my friends, and that pattern would continue throughout the year. However, I made new friends. And I got lessons to practice my way of dealing with emotions.

TO SUM UP THE CHANGE
I now have lot about 90% of the friends I had then, but I've also gotten A LOT of new ones. They are, however, mostly a whole bunch of years older than me (5-16 years older. It's not creepy, I swear) but it's ok. They treat me a lot different, and sometimes I do wish I could spend some more times with people my own age.
People with the same limitaitons as me, more or less.
But I also feel like I fit in. I don't really, but at the same time, that is what makes me fit in as well. And I'm pretty happy right now.

I am not "fixed".
I wont ever be "fixed". I don't even know what "fixed" is, but I do think I would find it extremely boring.

Alright alright, I sidetracked like hell back there. It started out as "I suck at going to sleep" and ended with "My history with shrinks and other health care personal". Wonderful!
But yeah, now you know me a little better, and I think that's a good thing!

Goodnight now!
I'm getting a house guest, there is this jazzfestival for the week, and I'm meeting some friends and stuff as well. I'll do some vlogs tho, so don't worry!

Sleep thight now, dear shades!