TheKaless

I figure .... In the end, you're really just alone.
Once again I find myself in a dark place. It feels so hopeless to even try anything, yet I feel like the thirst for achievement is the only thing keeping me awake.
I have a problem when I comes to achieving stuff. I feel like I really need to do it, if not, I'm not worth a damn.

Does any of you ever feel like that?

Also, I'm really sick of working on my own. It feels like I have no one, as I spend the lonely hours of creation in the dark company of my own insanity.
There are moments where I forget who I am.
I forget the world I was made of.
And I forget all the people that are involved.

I traveled far to get a new start, only to realize nothing had changed.
I realized that problems stay with you, no matter how far you go.
I realized that ... once you've truly felt deep down, it's heavy work to get out.

I am really not doing that well, not even at my new school. I hate the people, the system, the lessons, pretty much all of it. There are times where I hate my new friends as well.
WHY!?
Why couldn't I just ... get over it. Get over the fact that I haven't done anything, and then actually got off my depressed ass and done it!!
I have been giving small puches on my website, publishing little pieces of work whenever I felt like it. It's not like I can't do it, it's just that I can't make myself find the time.

I hate the fact that I haven't done anything worth bragging about yet, and I hate the fact that I'm obsessing about it. Why can't I just stay in the moment?
Live now, and love what's in front of me?
Is it really impossible for one with my way of thinking?

I'd always choose to be smart over happy, but ... does it really have to be this ... rough?

Hey guys!
I recently made a new friend through a common friend, and we all play games together. Mostly Team Fortress 2.
And he's making videos of it! *huge smiley*
You guys know that I love making videos (even tho I suck at it) and it's really a lot of fun.
This is the first video of him that I'm in.

Btw, pay attention to my crazy moment at 3:55


 
So anyways, he's making videos and stuff so be sure to subscribe to him!
And stay tuned for more gaming videos, I guess?
Later, loved ones!

Am I ready for ANOTHER fucking round in the health care system ...?
I can't help but feel extremely dissencouraged by the thought of it...

I have already, on several occations, told you the story of my wild adventures of Health Care Norway. I won't recap it, but I guess you could find it by searching for something something uhm... depressing, on my blog?

Anyways, I want to discuss all of this on a more serious and thought through level, but I think I'll do that in a video. I'll ofc update you guys on it here as well.
There are really lots of stories about mental health, and within youth especially I think.
It's not like I care tons of tons about people I've never met, will ever meet or ever have any sort of interaction with, but I am a human at some level.

Anyways, I don't have a lot of time for this now. There is a pirate party at my school. Yay....
I honestly just feel like ... I don't know...
I don't feel so good.
I feel ... emotionally unstable and broken...
Sad...
I'm expecting to get a rather heave winter depression. Not to seem like a total whatever it's called, but I have a history of getting those ...

Hey guys ... we're pretty far away. On our seperate computers, in different lives in different parts of the world.
Why I continue to call out for strangers like you is a mystery to me, but I'm glad that I have you guys.
Strangers on the other side of the world or not, you're someone.
That's enough for me, in my lonliest hour.

The psychological study is going rather well actually!
I postet the link pretty much everywhere, so I don't know if anyone here did the survey. HOWEVER - if any of you did, I thank you so much!

We're starting to get a lot of results and it's rather interessting. We still need a lot more to get a solid result, so be kind and share it with anyone you think will find it interessting.

OFC, will I share the results with you guys, once we get enough results.
Thank you again, and continue with your fine everning!

If you want to share the survey with someone, or haven't done it yet, here is the link;
 http://kwiksurveys.com/app/rendersurvey.asp?sid=c4lu69epyaq0iea219963&refer=

Well, you guys know me.
I like pretty colors, beautiful and awesome landscapes, animals and anime, so on!

Evening, my loving darlings!

It's been a while, but I'm back and there is something I'd like you to do for me.
It would be a great help if you took the time to answer a quick survey my friend made.
It's litterary 3 questions, and it's just for ... well, it's fun knowing stuff.

The thing is, I am thinking about studying psychology after this year at the "sorta collage", and then finish high school. It'll be about 7-9 years of school left for me, but I'm really up for it!
Sounds ok?

Anyways, I'll know if any of you kind angels are nice enough to answer the 3 questions, and if you do, that'll probably motivate me to get a bunch of 7th Amaze ready!
Also, I'll be back soon to tell you about my most recent prodjects!

Alright, later loved ones! ~

Link for the survey: http://kwiksurveys.com/app/rendersurvey.asp?sid=c4lu69epyaq0iea219963&refer=

I've figured out what I'm gonna study.
Psychology.
9 years left of school, and hopefully, I'll have my P.HD!

I have also gotten several anxiety attacks lately.
And I don't really get art.

I wrote the address og the publishing companies on envelovep and I'm gonna send in my first thingy next sunday!
Also, I have gotten pretty well off with the story I'm gonna send it. It's called "Number 17" and is a lovely child's novel about kids being locked down in an underground city filled with pedofiles.
(:

I'm tired all the time, I'm exhausted and emotional.
Other than that, I'm OK I guess.

Oh, and there are a couple of things I'd like to say.
First, PAIN is temporary, GOLY is forever.
Second, it's easier to write of you change the font into something fun, and make the text size bigger. You'll have to change it back later ofc, but I find that it helps to keep it fun and relaxed. I just changed the font into something funny of cool, and stuff like that. I like it, and I'd really reccomend it!

I'll go now.
MWAHAHHA.
I'm gonna fix up a bunch of 7th Amaze later today, btw.

You guys have NO IDEA of how much I already hate this school.
I guess, in some way, that is actually a good thing.
I mean ...
The fact that I hate all these people ... It makes me want to become something more. I know it sounds real jack-assy, but I feel like I need to be better than them, not to snap and go crazy.
It breaks my spirit ti be at their level.

And I know how all of this sounds really, no doubt.
But try to understand how I feel.
I have always been better at dealing with people that I hate, if I think I am better than them. If I think to myself ... "It's ok. I don't need to fight" when I think I'm secretly winning anyhow.

Well ...
Moving on from that!

My head really hurtsssss!
My head is really killing me now, as a result of my class being extremely noisy, and me putting on lenses make me cry.

I am getting better at putting on lenses, but I still poke myself in the eye and I still cry like a little bitch whenever I do.
And about the website...
I managed to stay on schedule for 2 days.
Hah, god fucking damnit.

No but I will get back, no worries.
It's weak to flunk out this early, but it doesn't mean I've given up. Not even close!
God I hate my class.

HELP ME!

First of all, I got my purple lenses and I love them, no matter what struggle I have putting them on and taking them off.


I also dyed my hair blueeeeeeeeee!


I started listening to Dope, a group of ... well, metal I guess? I really like them, so I'll reccomend them!
Oh, and they're the ones who made the "DIE MOTHER FUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!" song that everyone has heard of.



Oh, and my website is up and running, with the launch more or less a sucsess!

And that's it for now!
Enjoy your night, darlings