AND I AM BACK TO FEELING LIKE MEH.
So, short update, the firealarm just went of and all my friends have kinda ... let me go. I guess. Think.
Worst thing is, even tho I kinda don't think it's true, I still kinda do. Confusing? Well, tell me about it! I feel very .. very alone right now. It's about that thing. That thing about dying. Those fotballplayers that crashed in the somwhere mountains and had to eat their dead teammates to survive ... people thought they were dead, and nothing changed.

That's kinda how I feel right now. Not that I'm dead, but that ... there is really no change if I'm there or not. Well, it is a change actually. And it's ... meh.
There is this strange thing about people. When I am not around, people seem to be getting off their asses and do stuff. They are happy, stable and their life moves on.

When I'm involved ... it's at a damn still that nobody feels happy within.
Am I really that kind of bad influence?

_________________

It happens a lot, but I often write a post, then I forget to press "publish".
This is from yesterday, when I had a moment of feeling down. However, a good friend of mine saved the evening, I feel much better today!