TheKaless

Random picture of me looking at my weird thumb. It's a double jointed thumb, right? I never realised that it was a weird thumb until my friend freaked out from watching me give a thumbs up. I mean ... thumbs up?

Is it actually weird? 

.______. 

Alright! So life contains people and a lot of people walk around thinking that they don't like people. It's not cool, punky or anything to be proud of. 

I'll now talk about Norwegian social culture in somewhat short terms, and I'll be talking about how it has affected me (seeing as I don't really fit in with it). It'll be a discussion about being who you want to be and how difficult that is when the people around you get out the worst side of yourself. 

There is a bit of advice in the video description that I might not have gotten across well enough in the video, but I hope it helps. 

Personally I'm doing all I can to find my right environment and be the best version of myself. It's hard because I can't actually escape the bad influences as of yet, but I'm doing my best. 

Good luck! 

ALRIGHT so I've been thinking about kpop reaction videos for a while. They often show up as recmommended videos when I watch kpop, they have a shit ton of views and they're not even that high in quality. I'm confused. 

I like to watch Shade Dawson react to stuff, but that's pretty much it. I love to watch EYK's reviews of kpop videos, but they don't do pure reactions. I've just been really curious about what makes the reaction videos so popular.

I don't typically like those videos and the #1 reason is that they are very often super low quality, in terms of video and audio, while also (quite often) being super insincere and awkward. In a way I can totally see the appeal because kpop fans love to see others that are just as obsessed with kpop as themselves, but I don't feel like a lot of the reviewers put in all that much work into it. 

Watch Shane react to anything, and he'll be making witty comments, have snappy editing overall be very entertaining. Watch a kpop reaction video and there's gonna be people sitting there either screaming for 10 minutes, or non kpop fans sitting there awkwardly going "ooooh the dance tho!". 

I have been wanting to make reaction videos myself, I honestly have. Not because they would probably get way more views than my main channel, but because that would be a better way for me to talk about kpop and experience more kpop and establish myself within community. I did do a couple of reviews but I ended up feeling like those weren't what I wanted to do. My reviews were only halfway expressing how I felt about it all. 

The perfect thing for me would be to do a combination of EYK's reviews and Shane's reactions. I don't want to just sit there screaming and make witty comments, I also want to comment on the things and stuffs and I want to have a little section at the end where I sum up my thoughts after a couple more listens. That's what I want to do. 

I'm thinking I'll be giving it a try on my kpop channel (of which I'm probably going to change the name maybe I don't know I kinda started a brand so meh) once I get a new camera, so probably around the start of November. Probably. Maybe. Money is key. 

I don't think I'll be looking too much of other reaction videos because I want to do my own thing, but any suggestions and feedback would be great, when that time comes. Sounds good?

Good. 

Hiiiiiiiiii

Just popping in to say that I love you. 

Also I filmed a bunch of stuff so look out for that! 

~Nyan~

Finger heart!

With a word count on over 10,000 words I can't say I'm thrilled with the idea of starting all over again. BUT there is this thing that keeps happening as I'm writing, and that is the feeling of a plot not fully ... making sense. I'm trying to base the story on the things that I know and all but I'm having a hard time doing it in a believable way. I tried to make some obstacles that I don't personally know of, thus I'm having a hard time making it ... well, good!

I'm about to change the essence of the plot once again, and I'm not sure how interesting it's going to be when I write the story more true to reality. I wanted to see the characters grow, but in order to do that I would need to set them back further than I actually wanted. It's not a good feeling, knowing I'll have to start from 0 words again. From 10,000 to 0. If you collect all the words I've put down for this story, I've probably written the book 5 times already. This writer's life ... it's depressing like this, haha. 

I'm starting to wonder if I'll just have to restart the story a million times before it feels right, and even then I wonder if I'll be able to finish it. In a way, words are easy to put down. I've probably written words worth tons of books on my blogs and notebooks throughout the years. To think that I kept running so far without actually getting somewhere ... 

Makes me want to run further, but to keep track of the direction now. Makes me want to stake out my path and run down it, instead of these hopeless circles. Do you understand how I feel?

I have this unhealthy hobby where I tend to compare myself to others. A LOT. Lately it's been to the entertainment industry in Korea, and I guess it's because I identify a bit more with them than Norwegians and other western culture. I feel quite comfortable and happy with the asian culture that I've experienced thus far. 

Generations of entertainers are moving on, and in a couple of years the people that debut on stage will be born around my time. The ones that are currently debuting dwell around the early 90's for the most part, with the occasional magne that's like 13 years old (I'm looking at you SEVENTEEN). But in a couple of years, people my age will kick off their dreams and journey. I'm aiming to kick off my dreams with them, somehow. Not because I want to be in the same industry, but because I went to rise up with them none the less. Is that crazy? 

I already see people younger than me work harder and reaching further, but I'm trying not to focus on that. I'm thinking of those that are my age, who are now training to debut and truly reach for their dreams. I'm thinking of them, and as I go back and restart on my works once again, I'm thinking that as long as I keep running, I'll catch up on them. 

Hellooo pretty little ponies! 

I'm currently in school having English classsssssss. I don't mind English, as it's a language that I'm very comfortable with. Almost more than Norwegian, especially in creative writing. It just sounds so much better, you know? There are more pretty words in English than Norwegian, in my opinion. But anyhow. 

Lately I've been thinking of my future more. I have a hard time living in the moment, thus I often feel like I'm standing still while the world moves on without me. As if time is never moving around me. It's quite the awful feeling. 

I've been looking at things and goals that I hope to achieve within the next 10 years. These things are different than just having a dream. They're goals, quite doable in some of the cases. Things like getting my own place and travel to certain places. Those are things I could actually see happening, thus they feel closer than the faint dreams so far up there. 

In English class we're going to be tested about Braveheart, Scotland and that whole independence stuff. I have a hard time sitting down and actually read the blocks of articles, mainly because I just can't focus. I feel so hyped about trying to reach some of these goals and dreams, I can't possible focus on reading history and politics. 

The other day I was about to write a post about friendship. It was mostly going to be a rant, as I have some thoughts and feelings that I chose to not address for the most part. I would rather not confront problems with friends because it's just so much easier to take it and move on. I don't like arguments or conflicts at all, thus I often get ... well, stepped on. I'm a pushover, or just dumb and nice. I might not seem like a pushover nor a too nice person, but I am just a whole bunch of mush that does as asked. I don't always do it with a smile, but I think most of my friends would agree that they can come to me if they need help or so. 

It's not that I don't appreciate that role. It feels good knowing that people can rely on you. It just sucks when you can't rely in them in return. When I make an effort to take care of my friends, help them out and all that, then I wish someone would to that for me. 

Since my friends sometimes refer to me as a "mom" figure, let's take that as an example. Your mom takes care of you, right? She gives you food, makes sure you don't screw up your life too much and all that. Even when you turn 18 and she can't actually boss you around more, she does her best to help out whenever you allow her to. But how much do you take care of your mom? I'm not saying that she can't take care of herself, but I think most people like being taken care of to some degree. 

At least I do. I love being taken care of soooo much, it's just the best feeling in the world. It's just that since I take care of others, they might not think that I need to be taken care of as well. 

Sigh. 

I wasn't actually going to rant about this now, but oh well it happened. 

Let's move on with out day then.

Byeee~

Hey ho kitty cats!

Currently I'm listening to The Co-Optional Podcast and I'm trying to get my shit together. IT'S SUNDAY. It's a day for relaxation. A day to take care of myself so that I don't die when the week starts again. Goddamn. This life. 

My body has been just so damn awful lately. My face has been breaking out in pimples and dryness and other things, it's absolutely hell. The rest of my body too has been acting kinda weird. My skin has dulled a lot and I constantly feel like my insides are withering away. I don't feel too good these days ... 

I'm trying to get my health, body and mind back on track. I'm trying to find my footing in this new everyday life, and I'm trying to just ... live a better life, to be honest. Easier said than done. 

Sorry guys, I don't think I really feel like talking at the moment. I'll be back when I feel like talking more, oki doki?~ 

Byeeeeee~~~

Ok so .... there's snot everywhere. 

Please help me. 

My head is not really working as it should. It's just kind of ... bzzzzz.

So my friend wants me to come over with some wine because she can't afford it atm and neither can I. But I can't afford it less than her, so yeah. 

RANDOM SIDENOTE 

Oh shit I forgot what it was nvm

She lives in the next town over, which is kind of a bother. I got a buss card though, but still. MEH. 

But back to my cold. The snot that's everywhere and the head that's fuzzing. Perhaps am I getting a fever as well, as I am starting to feel oddly cold while others wear tshirts. What's up with you people?

The weekend is here though! I am probably going to try resting as much as possible, make a video or two if the chance occurs and so on. Hang with friends, unless I get more sick than now. 

Class starts in 20 minutes and I'm currently at the closest burger place being a shitty person. Wasting money on junk food ... it's been a while since last time though, so I guess it could be worse. I do it maybe 4 times throughout the year or so. I'm surprisingly not much of a junk food person, but I do eat a bunch of empty calories like white bread and stuff. Hmmm .... 

ALRIGHT I guess I better pack up and go back to school. It's only like 3 minutes away, for good and bad. So much money, so much junk. Hng. 

I have this thought ... this amazing idea that would be so fantastic to do and so fantastic to experience. The result would be just to die for, and I could imagine myself living a life where this idea was a central part of it for many years to come. It's grand, fantastic and all other things that I could wish for. 

Ok I'm hyping this up far too much. Basically I want to make travel videos of high quality. It's not a new concept, but I believe that I have the recourses to make it really good. For one, I am killer at research. I'm very good at gathering lots of information and finding out when, where , how and what to do when it all goes to shit. 

Especially that last one. I know how to bloody survive when it all goes to shit. I was stranded in South Korea without tickets home, and I still managed to land at the same time as my original flight. Bullshitting my way through trouble, that's a thing I can do. Not to say that I enjoy it in any way, but it happens a lot so I just got to live it. 

I'm also one to make local friends if possible. I spend a lot of time on international penpal sites, so the chance of finding a local that can show us around and stuff, that's pretty alright. And I'm good at speaking, I'm adventurous and I'm ... well ... I have friends who are VERY good at filming stuff and all. I have a lot of resources, and those that I do not have, I will be able to obtain within 2017. 

I don't know, maybe I'm dreaming too big. Actually, I am most certainly dreaming too big. 

But somehow, I'll try to make it happen anyway. Wish me luck!

So! I do youtube now. I guess you already know that, as I've been doing it for ... well, it's closing in on a year now! I think I started somewhere just before christmas last year. I then had a couple of months with very sparse and scattered content. Lately though, I think it's getting a bit more regular. I try to post a video at least once per week, and thus far I've been able to do that. ISH. I mean I might go over with a couple of days, but youtube doesn't tick over from 1week to 2weeks before two weeks have actually passed. So that helps. 

I guess it would be a wise idea to have a set day of the week when I put out content, but I honestly don't think I would be able to maintain such a schedule. I think this way is better, especially because I'm intending to post about 3 times per week when I really find my footing. I would like to do one Let's Talk video one Show & Tell video per week, and have the third one be one of choice. Sometimes I just want to talk about more stuff, other times I want to show more stuff and occasionally I'll want to do something that falls under totally different categories. 

Some of you might be wondering why I came back to this blog after all this time? 

Well to be honest, it's a simple and available platform to freely rant about whatever. I also can't dent the numbers. This blog is currently sitting on pretty good views for some reason, even while inactive. I guess it's much due to the fact that it did VERY good a couple of years ago, and it generated a lot of content and views. Thus, it ranks well with the search engines and such. I'm only guessing, but it seems sensible, don't you think? 

Ugh, I got some homework for tomorrow that I don't really feel like doing. It's a pretty big task that I just kept putting off, and now I'm just feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated to do it. I'm really not that much of a functional being, you see. 

Well! Youtube. It would be great if that lead to somewhere, but I think it's ok if it only remains a tiny channel. I would love to have a bit more interaction from the viewers though. Currently there's only Blu who comments and such. It's nice though. One is enough, though more would be nice. A couple more ... that would be nice. We could have a tiny society, kinda like those spy clubs we all had when we were kids. Tihi.