Hello everyone! 

I'm a cat. Or rather, I wish I was one. 

I have this odd thing where I just ... I just sit somewhere and I think about stuff. I think about stuff, and I feel stuff and I want to curl up in a ball and not ... do anything. 

I am overwhelmed by thoughts and dreams. I've said in a video before that my purpose of living is chasing my dreams, recklessly if necessary. I even did do that for a couple of weeks. It was the first, truly happy moment I've had in quite some time, shall I be honest. 

I don't want to seem like I'm ungrateful. I know my life is pretty good, and things are even improving. I got my first job, I got back into school so that I can finish high school and my latest travels are barely a month a way. My life is better than before and pretty good. 

So why don't I feel good too?

For moments I will feel fantastic. I will feel like life is finally a path that I willingly walk down and that the lights aren't as far away as I thought. But there are many gray days too. Days where I just feel like I can't do anything. Like my dreams have betrayed me. 

I'm not saying all of this to be full of nonsense or to make you re-evaluate your life to the worse. I just feel like talking about these things sometimes. I've tried to branch out and reach other places, I've tried to find my own success but I just ... I just never feel like I'm actually getting closer. 

My mind is numb. 

My body is numb.

Life feels numb. 

I hope your dreams will come true.