I firstly want to note that I've had a bit of wine. Crappy spelling is a thing that will happen. Sorry. 

Alright so be prepared for a bit of a long post about stuff that I'm thinking about. 

Relationships

Ok so I've been thinking. I'll make a video about this, but I need to think about it before I film anything or the recording will just be a massive mess. 

I haven't been in a relationship for about 8 months now. That's the longest I've been 100% single since I started dating. I wont lie. I've dated several guys since I started dating, and I'm not all that proud of it. Am I easy? Nah, but also yes. I'm a romantic, so I easily fall in love. I've also felt a bit insecure about myself, so I've felt a lot happier with a person, knowing that they like me. I enjoy being in a relationship. I take it a bit seriously. 

That has been one of the main reasons for why I've been wanting to be single for a while now. I needed time to focus on me and get myself in line. Get a grip of my own life and my own needs, grow as a person and figure stuff out. I really needed that, and even though it's been boring and lonely, I've definitely found some of the things I was looking for. 

Recently I've found more confidence and I've been giving myself experiences and quality time to enhance my life and it's quality. I am better now. 

I think my opinions about relationships have three stages. 

1. I don't want one. 

2. I want one. 

3. I don't really mind either way. 

For a long time I was at the 1st one. Then, for a while after the last one I've felt like I didn't want one because I had shit to figure out. I'm still a bit more on the 1st one but I'm slowly but surely moving on to the 3rd one. Not minding means that I'm ok on my own, but I'll be happy to be in a relationship as well. Depending on the relationship, ofc. I still don't feel anywhere close to a proper one. But a casual, cute and fun one? I'm getting closer to the point in my life where I could do that. It's nice to be single though. Not having to work so hard for the other person. 

I mentioned before that I'm a romantic person. I love romance, and I have those daydreams of romantic moments and cute relationships that are so far from reality that it's actually breaking my heart. 

I'm losing my train of thought because you know ... wine. 

I guess I need to continue this at another time, but you know ...  relationships. 

I sort of think about one a lot but at the same time, I know I'm still not quite there where I could have one. I just think that guys are cute and I watch too many romantic series and shit. 

I think about love a lot. 

I always have. Just because it's interesting and emotional and all the stuff that makes me think of it.

I'm a romantic. 

A romantic fool at that. 

And I'm also drunk on wine. 

Have a good night, love~